“If you look at me I am so boyish and I kind of connect with more men than women,” says the dark youth wearing an earring on his left ear.
Like many other members of the gay community in Kenya, Anthony Adero could not understand why he did not find girls appealing. Although he was yet to reach adolescence, when the body starts experiencing physiological changes, he says he became aware of his sexuality when he was 12-years-old.
” I used to have confusion in roles but I just gave myself time to accept my sexual orientation and learn to be comfortable with it,” says the youth who celebrated his 27th birthday this year.
But even with this determination Adero did not know how to cope with the exception his peers, and a society that does not believe in same sex relationships, took to his sexuality.
“I spent my teenage life battling the conflict within myself and the one within the community,” says the youth from Kisumu town.
One day he decided to seek help from a close friend whom he had known for about a year, but his rendezvous altered the course of his life.
“I was so confused about my sexual orientation that I did not want to talk about it but it came to this moment and I found someone who was ready to listen to me,” says Adero. “I did not know that he could take advantage of me. He sexually abused me. I got infected with HIV because he was not protected.”
Like many victims of rape encounters, Adero had to deal with post rape trauma before he could make a decision to seek voluntary counseling and therapy (VCT) to know his HIV status.
“I paniced for two weeks but I later went for a VCT test although I had earlier tested negative and even donated blood before,” he says. “I was very sure about my HIV status until I realized that my assailant did not use protection.”
“The period after discovering I was infected with HIV was one of my most difficult. I was going through trauma, post rape counseling and also through self identity and self recognition as a gay man,” says Adero.
But his spirited demenour inspired him to accept reality and this is why he ended up at the Tuungane Youth Programme in Kisum to seek peer education.
After a short period of mentoring, Adero left for Nairobi where he joined Eastern Men Who Have Sex with Men, where he continued to receive peer education training.
“Through peer education I learnt a lot of experiences that I felt I should share with somebody,” says Adero. “This is why I visited Liverpool VCT to see if they could help me start a support programme for the minority communities living with HIV.”
He adds: “They were cooperative and even partnered with me to give exclusive support for gay men living with HIV. From that period I have been volunteering in fighting for the health rights of the minorities because they are most at risk.”
What strikes one most about this young man, whose parents have come to accept his status and are now supportive, is that he openly admits that he is gay and living positively. However, Adero, who comes from a family of six boys and no girls, says his brothers do not know about his sexual orientation and he would like to keep it that way.
For the two years he has been living with HIV, Adero has faced many challenges including living in a Kenyan society where the law recognizes homosexuality as an illegal activity.
He says he could not seek justice for his rape encounter because he feared that the law would throw him behind bars.
“I know the Kenya law does not recognize us but we always try to look for things that work out, in terms of health care, access to activities,” says Adero. “There is still a lot of things to do about HIV/AIDS, positive living, drug adherence and scientific discoveries. Let us focus on where we are heading to not where we came from.”
Adero says he also encounters problems with adherence because some drugs have severe side effects and have led to serious weight loss but he has learnt how to cope after going for drug adherence training.
He says he is keen on maintaining his sexual orientation and is not ashamed of it. At the moment he is still single but would want a life partner if the law allowed it.
“At the moment I am still single and living a homosexual life in a homophobic society,” says Adero. “I take things slow so that the society can appreciate who we are. If things do not work out I will still remain single the way I am because I am living a normal sexual life.”
He adds: “When it comes to sexuality we are normal human beings and we definitely need sex at one time or another.”